Gen Z has dubbed Jessica the new Karen. Here are my thoughts as a Karen

My mom liked to evidence the story of when I was max born. She called her sis, who was ix months pregnant herself, and told her she had elect the name “Karen.” 

My aunt moaned, “No! That was the name I picked!” (She had to settle for “Peter” a few weeks later).

They both had no idea what was to become of their coveted name. 

Somewhere during the pandemic, the name Karen became short form for an entitled, demanding, unreasonable and usually white woman. As far as I can tell, the meme became popularized with a woman who called 911 when a Black man trying to birdwatch asked her to leash her dog at New York City's Central Park. She reported that he was acting in a threatening manner. The police came. Eventually, the woman was charged for falsely reporting the confrontation and was fired from her job. And here’s the kicker: her name was Amy.

How Amy became Karen is a mystery. But the damage to my name was done.

I was shocked by the sudden flip from saying my name with pride to having to lower my eyes and brace myself before admitting, “Karen … my name is Karen.” 

It broke my heart. I was so proud to share my name with such greats as Karen Kain, a  principal ballet dancer with the National Ballet of Canada or the world champion figure skater Karen Magnussen. Not to mention the talented singer Karen Carpenter and the little girl in Frosty the Snowman — I never caught her last name, but she brought me to tears every year as she wept over Frosty, now a puddle with a top hat. 

For a while, I tried using my full name Karen Anne, but it didn’t matter. Those first two syllables sealed my fate. 

They say the best defence is offence so I would pre-emptively introduce myself as “Karen … but I’m a nice one.” 

I would bristle when celebrities, journalists and influencers would use my name to describe some out-of-control woman at a coffee shop, screaming for retribution because her order was wrong. Of course, such problematic behaviour should not be condoned. But I would respond to people on social media, begging them to use their vocabulary to make their point rather than abusing my name. 

One of them, HGTV host Galey Alix, responded by saying, “Oh, we all know there are good Karens," and bad ones. But that’s not really the point, is it?

At some point, I realized I was also guilty of misappropriating other names. I didn’t think twice about calling a bully a “Brutus” or a misbehaving child a “Damien.” Never once did I consider the implications. 

Names go out of fashion for various reasons. Adolf and Alexa are no longer included in the popular baby name books for different reasons. Karen, alas, has not made it into the top 100 names for a long time. While it was in the top five of names in the 1950s and 1960s, it's fallen over time and ranked 823 among the most popular baby names in 2023.

I don't worry that people will make assumptions about me when they hear my name. It's not like I would assume a gentleman named Dick must be a … you know. 

It is more about how I feel hearing my name affiliated with deplorable and racist behaviour. The Karen meme is often associated with entitled white women. That’s hard to swallow. I know there are such people in the world, but surely stereotyping isn't the answer. 

The final straw came while doing a New York Times crossword puzzle and seeing the clue “some women who demand to see the manager, slangily.” Six letters; starts with K. 

I would have to betray my name or not solve the puzzle. So I decided the best I could do was create some dissonance. Restore the Karen brand. I would do that by being so very, very nice. 

My tips got a little more generous. I would hold doors open long after it was reasonable, which meant I was adjusting my behaviour in situations where people didn’t even know I was a Karen. 

If I had to make a complaint, I would do so with a smile and lots of empathy. I’m even patient with my internet provider when they put me on hold for the fifth time. 

“Oh, that’s OK. I’m sure you’re very busy.” 

Constantly managing your behaviour is difficult. Sometimes it feels good to yell a little, offer a sarcastic retort or roll your eyes. Sometimes service really is bad. But then I remember my mission. I may be among the last of the Karens but I’m going to do my best to clear my name. 

My efforts may be paying off. Apparently Gen Z has dubbed Jessica as the new Karen. Could this be my chance? Maybe I can take out billboards to spread the word. Those darn Jessicas; they’re the worst! But no. That would be such a Karen thing to do. 

So instead, I will offer advice to the Jessicas. Continue to say your name with pride. And to counter your new reputation, take a pause before responding to challenging situations. Choose kindness over impatience. If you’re going to ask for the manager, make sure it’s for good reason.

That might be good advice for all of us. Fight your inner Karen.  

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Freelance contributor

Karen Scanlan leads HR for 1QBit, a quantum tech company in Vancouver.

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