‘Why am I even living?’: Anita Kanwal says she feels ‘useless’ after not getting work despite four decades in industry

ACtor Anita Kanwal, c. H. Best known for her act in telecasting shows the likes of Sonpari and Sasural Genda Phool, late opened up about not getting work in the industry. She revealed that despite working for decades, she is still asked to audition and often faces rejection. Speaking to Siddharth Kannan’s YouTube channel, Anita shared how the situation has affected her mentally.Anita Kanwal on battling self-doubts after not getting workAnita made her debut with the television show Chanakya in 1991 and later featured in several television shows and films, including Mujhse Dosti Karoge! and Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa. She revealed that, now 62, she continues to audition but feels no one “seems to like” her work anymore. The actor also shared that it has been eight years since she last worked on television.Recalling her successful phase in the industry, Anita said, “I used to work on 13 shows simultaneously. It hurts a lot when people stop remembering you. It reaches a point where I feel like self-destruction. Just three days ago, I told my daughter, ‘Why am I even living? What am I contributing to society or to my craft anymore?’ I have given so much to this industry. I have played every kind of role and received so many awards. So who is to blame — me or the industry?”Anita further shared that the situation has led her to self-doubt, making her question whether there is something wrong with her. She wondered how actors like Meryl Streep continue to get roles at 76, while actors of her age in India struggle to find opportunities.When asked whether these thoughts ever made her feel suicidal, Anita clarified, “I feel so useless. I won’t say suicidal, but sometimes I pray to God and say, ‘If there’s nothing meaningful left for me in this world, then take me away.’ I don’t want to just exist without purpose. But never suicidal — I have gone through very difficult times and never thought like that. I just pray that I don’t end up living like this.”About Anita KanwalAnita made her acting debut in 1991 with Chanakya. She later appeared in another television show, Humrahi, before making her Bollywood debut in the 1993 film Geetanjali, starring Jeetendra and Rekha. She also worked with Shah Rukh Khan in Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa and with Hrithik Roshan in Mujhse Dosti Karoge! and Na Tum Jaano Na Hum.In 1995, she returned to television and became a household name with her role as Mrs Seth in Banegi Apni Baat. Anita further gained fame through shows such as Shanti, Son Pari, Sasural Genda Phool, Gustakh Dil, and Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai. She was last seen in Sasural Genda Phool 2.