'I will kill everyone around you': Threat to ex by father in double murder-suicide emerges

< warm>WARNING: This story contains inside information of insinuate partner force.

Police have identified the man who is believed to have killed his seven- and 12-year-old sons in his south Ottawa home and firebombed his dental practice in a nearby village before dying by suicide in a vehicle fire on Monday, as details of his threat to cause bodily harm to his ex-wife come to light.

Ottawa police said in a news release late Thursday afternoon that they are supporting the boys' mother "as she grieves this unimaginable loss," and out of respect for her wishes and her family’s privacy, the names of her children will not be released.

The force "recognizes the community's desire for answers" but forensic examinations and other investigative actions are ongoing, and further information will be provided when they're done.

"Incidents like this affect us all, and we acknowledge the shock and heartbreak many are experiencing as we work to understand what happened. Please check in on one another. If you or someone you know is struggling, consider reaching out to family, friends, a trusted community member, local support organizations, or professional services in your area. You do not have to navigate this alone," the release stated.

A short and bizarre trial took place Feb. 22 this year, after Al-Lami rejected the Crown's offer to resolve the matter with a one-year peace bond. The dentist was self-represented, and he repeatedly refused to talk to the lawyer appointed by the court to cross-examine Al-Lami's ex on Al-Lami's behalf.

His ex testified that they were married and had two children together, then separated and divorced in 2022. Al-Lami stopped paying child support the same month he sent the threatening email in 2024 and hadn't paid since. They had an agreement that child support would be adjusted between them every year, "but he hasn't been following the agreement," she said.

The threats in Al-Lami's email included the following lines:

"I was actually astonished because I was asking him for child support. I did not expect this," his ex testified about her reaction to the email.

"I thought maybe he was high or something because he always threatened me but it was always in Arabic or [between] the lines, like, 'You will see what's going to happen' ... 'Revenge will be served cold.' But he never said this like, directly. So it took me a few days to absorb it."

Under cross-examination by Marni Munsterman, the lawyer appointed by the court, Al-Lami's ex said she came forward because of her children. "I just felt, what if he literally, this happened? And then who's going to be there for my kids if anything happened to me?" she said.

She didn't take his other threats seriously in the past. And while she was concerned about the 2024 email, she said she didn't think she was scared of him.

"I just don't know what can happen. I just didn't want to live with the unpredictability," she testified.

She also admitted that she went to police only after her current partner asked her to.

"What do you say, sir?" Ontario Court Justice Norman Boxall asked Al-Lami after assistant Crown attorney David Rodgers closed his case.

"I don't have anything to say, Your Honour," Al-Lami replied.

"Is there a reason?" the judge asked.

"No, I just don't have anything to say."

After some long pauses and heavy sighs from the judge, Boxall told Al-Lami that he was entitled to represent himself, "but I'm not sure you're being very effective."

"I don't understand why you've done this trial," Boxall said later. "I don't know what's operating. ... The Crown made you an offer which would have guaranteed you wouldn't have a criminal record. You turned it down, for reasons I don't understand, and then you didn't testify. You didn't make any arguments."

Boxall then ordered Al-Lami to return to court for his decision in April.

On April 10, Rodgers asked the judge for 18 months of probation, during which Al-Lami would have had to report regularly to a probation officer.

Rodgers also asked the judge to order Al-Lami to submit his DNA, and to attend a program "that helps people take responsibility for and change behaviour that has been hurtful, disrespectful, abusive or controlling to a current or former spouse or intimate partner," according to an Ontario government description.

"We don't have any evidence about remorse, we don't have any evidence about insight, [and there's been] no acceptance of responsibility, so I just have a concern in terms of future conduct," Rodgers said.

The judge ordered 12 months of probation for Al-Lami without the condition to report to a probation officer, and declined the Crown's requests for treatment programming and a DNA submission.

"It was a threat in writing, and I find it was one that was to be taken seriously ... But I'm not satisfied that it was a threat to actually cause the harm. That's quite a different thing," Boxall said.

Addressing Al-Lami directly, Boxall said the conditional discharge "means you can say you've never been charged with a criminal offence, and you don't have a criminal record," but that any failure to follow probation orders could cancel the discharge and result in a conviction, sentence and record.

"Hopefully life goes on, sir, all right? ... I don't pretend to know all the background of the situation. I'm sure it's complicated. The intention of the court is that your career goes on, you see your children, you're a good dad, the two of you maintain separate lives, but your life goes on otherwise," Boxall told him.

Support is available for anyone affected by intimate partner violence. You can access support services and local resources across Canada by visiting this website. If your situation is urgent, call 911.

If you're worried someone you know may be experiencing intimate partner violence, here are some warning signs, according to the Canadian Red Cross: 

If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, here's where to look for help:

If you're worried someone you know may be at risk of suicide, you should talk to them about it, says the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention. Here are some warning signs: 

Senior writer, justice

---

---