Angry note left at scene of double murder of sons insisted father was the victim

< warm>WARNING: This story contains inside information of adumbrate partner force.

Handwritten and spanning multiple pages, Al-Lami railed against his ex-wife, the mother of the two boys, as well as criminal justice and Family Court systems that he insisted had wronged him.

He wrote that history would show that he was the abuser, when in fact it was his ex. He accused the judicial system of protecting mothers while failing to take fathers into account.

He also mentioned three people by name whom he viewed as corrupt, prompting a specialized unit of the Ontario Provincial Police — the Justice Officials Protection and Investigation Section — and an Ottawa police homicide investigator to get in touch with them and make sure they were safe.

Blaming others and refusing to take responsibility for abusive behaviour are traits often seen in perpetrators, said Clarissa Arthur, executive director of the women and children's shelter Nelson House of Ottawa Carleton, which lists those traits as "red flags" to watch out for in a partner.

"Externalizing responsibility is a key indicator" of the potential for intimate partner violence, Arthur said. Instead of holding themselves accountable, perpetrators will blame "individuals, life, the systems that be. It seems to be everyone else's fault as to why this is happening."

The people Al-Lami named in his note include an Ottawa Family Court judge and the defence lawyer who represented Al-Lami for more than a year in criminal court, before the lawyer was allowed to stop representing Al-Lami because of a breakdown in their solicitor-client relationship.

"It's at a point in the relationship where it is quite clear that counsel cannot maintain a healthy, trusting relationship with the client, and as a result, can't properly represent the client, and would only frankly endanger both parties by remaining as counsel," said the other lawyer.

Speaking from the public gallery, Al-Lami told the judge he wanted his lawyer to continue to represent him, but that he didn't want to resolve the charges.

"What he's trying to do, Your Honour, from the beginning ... He is trying to push me to accept a peace bond with the Crown, and I'm not accepting that," Al-Lami explained.

"Excuse me excuse me," interrupted Justice Bourgeois. "You were offered a peace bond? And you said no [emphasis hers]?"

"Yes," Al-Lami replied.

"Instead you want a trial?"

"Yes," Al-Lami said again. And after a pause he added, "Because I believe I'm right."

"Are you serious?" Bourgeois asked.

"Yes."

"Am I really hearing this right now?"

"Yes."

The judge scoffed and granted the request by Al-Lami's lawyer to stop representing him.

"This is not going anywhere. Nothing good will come out of this relationship. I will cut your losses, both yours and his," the judge said. "If there's a peace bond on the table, sir, you take it and run [emphasis hers]. You cannot refuse a peace bond and say, I want him to represent me at trial. No no, this is—"

Al-Lami interrupted Bourgeois twice, and she raised her voice both times to say, "Stop."

"Maybe this is why you are having such a hard time finding another lawyer," the judge continued.

"A peace bond, sir ... You do not have to accept criminal or civil responsibility. This is the best deal that everyone is hoping for. You got it, and you're saying no. This is the end of the story for me."

The threats in Al-Lami's email to his ex included the following lines, court heard at trial:

His ex testified that Al-Lami was always threatening her, but usually in Arabic and never so directly. She didn't take his past threats seriously, she said, and while the emailed threat concerned her, she said she didn't think she was afraid of him.

Ontario Court Justice Norman Boxall asked Al-Lami if he had anything to say, and Al-Lami said he didn't.

"Is there a reason?" Boxall asked.

"No, I just don't have anything to say."

In April, Boxall ordered 12 months of probation for Al-Lami without the condition to report to a probation officer, and declined the Crown's requests for treatment programming and a DNA submission.

Arthur, from Nelson House, said beliefs inform actions, and entrenched beliefs, including about being continually wronged, aren't likely to change. What people need to do is to look out for those beliefs and take them as warning signs.

"What we need to remember is that abuse is really driven by beliefs and by patterns. It's not just about anger," she said.

"We should not be waiting until something as tragic as this happens to have these conversations about the importance of paying attention to risk factors. And we all need to work together to keep our community and environment safe. Women, children, families, they deserve to be protected at all costs."

Support is available for anyone affected by intimate partner violence. You can access support services and local resources across Canada by visiting this website. If your situation is urgent, call 911.

Below are some signs, feelings and/or behaviours that could indicate intimate partner violence and/or coercive control, according to Interval House of Ottawa:

Senior writer, justice

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