'Can I just not feed at all?': Texts indicate couple in Ontario murder trial withheld food from boys

< warm>WARNING: This story inside information allegations of baby shout.

Despite Brandy Cooney’s claim she and her wife never punished two boys in their care by withholding food, text messages between the two women tell a different story, the Crown argued Wednesday during the couple's Milton, Ont., murder trial.

For a third day, Cooney answered questions about how she and Becky Hamber treated the brothers they were trying to adopt leading up to the older boy’s death on Dec. 21, 2022. 

The 12-year-old was found emaciated and unresponsive on the floor of his basement bedroom that night and later died in hospital. He weighed the same as when he was six years old and had stopped growing, the court has heard. 

Cooney and Hamber, of Burlington, are charged with first-degree murder, as well as confinement, assault with a weapon — zip ties — and failing to provide the necessaries of life to his younger brother. 

The two women had been trying to adopt the brothers. They've pleaded not guilty to all charges.

A central question throughout the trial, which began in mid-September in Superior Court, has been why L.L. Was so severely malnourished in the last year of his life. A pathologist previously testified malnourishment could’ve caused or contributed to his death.

In 2022, Cooney and Hamber told a variety of people, including Children’s Aid Society (CAS) workers, and doctors and therapists, that L.L. Had an eating disorder and would regurgitate food and reswallow it. 

But in response to assistant Crown attorney Monica MacKenzie’s questions, Cooney also said that L.L. Had vomited at least 30 times between June and November. 

“Surely, you sought medical attention or help for [L.L.] when you were seeing him vomit?” MacKenzie asked.

“We did not take him to the family doctor,” Cooney said.

“To the emergency department?” the lawyer asked.

“No,” Cooney responded. 

“You didn’t seek medical attention at all?” MacKenzie said.

“No,” the accused answered. 

Cooney and Hamber, through their defence lawyers, have maintained L.L. And J.L. Had an unhealthy relationship with food due to past trauma, and if given the opportunity he would steal and binge eat.

The court has heard that’s why the women locked the kitchen cupboard doors and controlled when, where and how much the boys ate, and timed their meals.

“I’m going to suggest to you that [L.L.] lost so much weight and his height was stunted because you and Ms. Hamber were not feeding him sufficiently and withholding food from him, correct?” asked MacKenzie. 

“Incorrect,” said Cooney, adding they always gave the boys an “adequate amount of food.”

But Cooney also admitted she got “frustrated” when the boys said they were hungry or ate all their packed lunch on the school bus hours before lunchtime.

“Did it at least cross your mind when you heard the boys were … still hungry at school that you weren’t sending sufficient food?” MacKenzie asked. 

“No,” said Cooney. 

She and Hamber instead told the school they were not to have any food outside of what the women sent, and zip-tied their lunchboxes shut with instructions that staff could only cut them open at lunch. 

Then, starting in 2020 at the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, the boys remained at home. 

Over the next couple of years, Hamber posted pictures to Instagram of healthy meals, using the hashtag “#traumamomsforthewin.”

J.L. previously testified he didn’t eat any of those meals and that leading up to his brother’s death, he was only fed pureed food. 

The Crown showed the court 10 examples between 2020 and 2022 of Cooney and Hamber texting about withholding food or taking it away from L.L. And J.L.

The women were in near-constant communication with one another, even when they were in the same house, the court has heard. They deleted their texts shortly after L.L. Died, but 8,000 pages worth were later recovered by police.

On Christmas Eve in 2021, Cooney texted Hamber about the boys exercising. 

“Tell them good luck figuring out burpees in the shower when they bitch about never having food,” it said. 

On March 11, 2022, Cooney asked Hamber, “Can I just not feed at all?” Hamber responded, “No food unless calm.” 

A month later, Hamber told Cooney that J.L. Needs to eat before bed as both boys “can’t be skeletons.” 

“Smoothie dinner,” said Cooney. 

“Fine by me, and some liquid,” Hamber responded.  

In a text on Oct. 22 — two months before L.L. Died — Hamber told Cooney that L.L. Had “lost his food and lost his mind so he is restrained to his bed.” 

But when MacKenzie asked if the text messages showed food was not always available to the boys, Cooney said they didn’t capture “the full picture” of what was actually happening in their home. 

Cooney is expected to return to the witness box Friday. Hamber is set to testify in January. 

If you’re affected by this report, you can look for mental health support through  resources in your province or territory.

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