Why the holidays can be a dangerous time for victims of intimate partner violence

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The holiday season can be joyous and foster togetherness, but it can also be especially difficult for anyone experiencing intimate partner violence (IPV), advocates say.

"There are several risk factors, and it's important that people know that just because it's the holidays doesn't mean that every single person is OK," said Jennifer Dunn, executive director of the London Abused Women's Centre.

In fact, the holidays can be one of the most dangerous times for women in IPV situations, said Dunn.

Several incidents have been reported recently in southwestern Ontario alone.

On Monday, a man in St. Thomas was charged with assault following an incident involving his wife.

An individual in Huron County has been charged with criminal harassment of their partner on Dec. 13.

In London, Alton Farquharson, 56, is accused of killing his wife, Tasha Farquharson, 47, on Dec. 19, with police declaring it a femicide.

The holidays mean more people are home, Dunn explained, with more time off work and fewer routines, which can create a sense of isolation. For abusive partners, she said, this can increase monitoring and control behaviours, and create more opportunities for violence.

More family gatherings, increased expectations and financial pressures can also contribute to the risk of IPV, said Jessie Rodger, executive director of London-based Anova, Ontario's largest women's shelter.

"There's a lot of money being spent, whether that's with gifts, or food or travel, and it's definitely a time where that can put strain on folks," Rodger said. "I also think it's a time where the expectation is that you're happy."

Increased alcohol consumption around the holidays can also lead to difficult or dangerous moments, she added.

Both the London Abused Women's Centre and Anova typically see an uptick in calls earlier in December, as women reach out for support before the holidays get underway, followed by another increase in January.

One explanation for this is the pressure of the holidays, especially on mothers, to "make things special," even if they are having to suffer through difficult times, Rodger said.

"It's kind of eerily quiet a little bit in these two weeks," she said. "And we always kind of worry and wonder what's happening in people's homes."

Physical abuse can be part of IPV, but it can take other forms it can take, Dunn said.

Broadly, IPV is about power and control, she said, and physical violence is just one of the ways this can take shape.

The government of Canada notes IPV can include coercive control, emotional, psychological or spiritual abuse, economic abuse and sexual violence.

According to Ontario Provincial Police (OPP), reports of IPV rose by 18.1 per cent in the province, with 6,289 victims in 2024 compared to 5,326 in 2023. The numbers last year were 13.5 per cent higher than in 2022.

However, many cases of IPV go unreported.

In 2019, 80 per cent of those who experienced IPV did not report it to police. According to the Canadian government, cases were more likely to come to the attention of police when there was a higher frequency of abuse. 

"I think what's really important at this time of year when we're gathering together with friends and family is if you see something, you say something," Rodger said.

This can involve having a conversation with the person who's experiencing the violence, she added, and letting them know they're not alone if they need support.

For anyone affected by family or intimate partner violence, there is support available through crisis lines and local support services. ​​If you're in immediate danger or fear for your safety or that of others around you, please call 911.

In London, support is also available through Anova, Atlosha Native Family Healing Services, London Abused Women's Centre, Regional Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence Treatment Centre, and Victim Services of Middlesex-London.

Reporter

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