Anaconda Movie Review: Comedy or horror? Sadly, neither

CAst: alice paul scardinius erythrophthalmus, jack up joseph black, Thandiwe n, Steve Zahn, Daniela Melchior, Selton MelloDirector: Tom GormicanRating: ★★Hollywood’s relationship with nostalgia has long crossed from affection into dependency, and Anaconda is another reminder of how thin that line has become. The 1997 Anaconda was never a good film, but it was at least a memorable one — a glossy, star-driven creature feature whose stiff dialogue and rubbery effects accidentally turned it into a cult curiosity.Nearly three decades later, the new iteration positions itself as a knowing, self-aware reinvention, but clever intent doesn’t always translate to compelling cinema. Rather than retelling the original, the film follows Doug (Jack Black), a once-aspiring filmmaker now stuck shooting wedding videos in Buffalo, who is roped into making a low-budget reboot of Anaconda by his struggling-actor childhood friend Griff (Paul Rudd). Joined by old friends Claire (Thandiwe Newton) and Kenny (Steve Zahn), the group heads to the Amazon to reclaim the creative spark they lost years ago. Once there, their amateur production collides with illegal mining operations, shady locals, and an actual giant anaconda that turns their nostalgic passion project into a survival exercise. The goodThe cast carries much of the film’s limited appeal. Paul Rudd plays quiet insecurity well, and Jack Black, even when dialled down, brings flashes of conviction that briefly lift scenes built around industry satire. Steve Zahn is the standout, turning Kenny’s perpetual incompetence into something genuinely amusing. There are moments where the film’s gentle camaraderie works, especially when it focuses on middle-aged creative regret rather than snakes or spectacle.The badFor a comedy about pointless reboots, Anaconda is surprisingly reluctant to bite. The satire never sharpens, the jokes repeat without escalation, and the horror elements feel like obligations rather than opportunities. The snake itself is bigger but less effective than before, robbed of menace by cautious staging and weightless action. Attempts at emotional grounding are undone by sketchy character writing, while the film’s PG-13 restraint drains what little shock value it might have had.The verdictAnaconda understands that not every film needs to say something profound — but it forgets that it still needs to be entertaining. Its self-awareness mistakes recognition for critique, and nostalgia for purpose. What remains is a mildly agreeable but ultimately hollow exercise in IP maintenance. Neither sharp enough to parody nor bold enough to thrill, it slithers by without leaving much of a mark.