Prospective mom calls boy in her care a 'horrible disgusting child' in text shown at Ontario murder trial

Ontario's former baby counselor says children's economic aid societies made 'bad decisions' leading up to dying of boy

A foster mother of a boy who died in 2022 and his brother will resume testimony around 10 a.m. ET at the murder and assault trial in Milton, Ont., Superior Court.

Becky Hamber, 46, is set for her third day in the witness box. She and her wife, Brandy Cooney, 44, have pleaded not guilty to first-degree murder of the older boy (known as L.L.). 

The accused women entered the same plea to charges relating to his younger brother (J.L.), including confinement, assault with a weapon — zip ties — and failing to provide the necessaries of life. The boys' identities are protected under a publication ban. They’d been in the women’s care in Burlington for about five years while they were trying to adopt them.

In her testimony yesterday, Hamber spoke about the methods she and Cooney used to control the siblings, including zip-tying them into wetsuits and locking them in their bedrooms overnight.

Hamber explained why she felt she had to restrain the children or limit their freedom. For example, Hamber said, she and her wife zip-tied hockey helmets onto the boys to prevent them from banging their heads into various objects.

Hamber told the court that children’s aid workers and health professionals knew about the couple's decisions and did not raise any issues. She also said she loved the brothers despite all the difficulties the couple had with them.

L.L. Was 12 when he died in hospital after he was found soaking wet and unresponsive on his bedroom floor. He was severely malnourished and underweight. 

J.L., now 13, testified earlier in the trial about his time in the home. He spoke of cuts on his feet from being zip-tied in shoes, a fact also raised in court yesterday. 

Court is now on a break and will return at around 11:55 a.m. ET.

MacGregor brings up a text exchange between Hamber and someone she describes as a long-time friend. This is the first time we’ve seen this conversation.

"Is it wrong to want my child to leave?" Hamber says in the text, after some discussion about struggling to find time for a call.

Her friend told her it was OK to be frustrated and the feeling would pass.

"He is a horrible horrible disgusting child who appears to never want to change," Hamber replied.

"This is definitely me hitting a low moment," Hamber says in court today.

Now we’re viewing records of another text exchange. Halton police accessed these deleted messages when they seized the couple’s electronic devices.

In this exchange, Hamber tells her wife, "Murder ur dad … he is annoying as f–k."

She was frustrated, Hamber says, adding Cooney’s dad, Ed — who lived with them — had dementia and Parkinson's disease and could be hard to deal with.

On Monday, she described having a great relationship with Ed, saying he called her his second daughter.

"I loved Ed. He’s an amazing guy," Hamber says today, adding she did not really want to murder him.

Warning: This post contains disturbing details.

The Crown has previously played audio recordings recovered from Hamber's and Cooney's phones that gives some insight into how they spoke to the boys. 

In one recording, the women are heard scolding L.L. For "peeing and pooping" himself.

One of the women told the then 11-year-old he was "choosing" to do so in a misguided attempt to get what he wanted, and was "years away from having free access to the washroom and the home."

In another, one woman tells J.L. He broke her finger during a tantrum and "you made our life hell for several years." 

"I’m angry at you for breaking her finger, so what can I break on you?" one of the women asks.

J.L. Is heard saying he wants to die.

The woman responds "that’s stupid."

Warning: This post contains disturbing details.

Hamber says the boys didn’t know she and Cooney discussed them this way because they didn’t have access to their phones.

She says she also didn’t talk about the boys that way in person.

MacGregor pulls up a text exchange in which Cooney told Hamber: “Kill them if they break it” and “who wants to kill them.”

Hamber responded: "Drown em in their poo."

In court today, she says she doesn’t remember typing that but "obviously did."

She attributes the message to "frustration" and says it was venting with her partner.

"Our words were angry or violent but there would be no followup action toward the children," she says.

MacGregor notes this is from Page 5,000 of text records. Hamber says the couple would communicate like this frequently, multiple times a day.

MacGregor asks Hamber how she and Cooney discussed the boys in text messages.

In numerous messages read in court by the Crown, the women called them names, joked about being their jailers, complained about having to feed the boys, and made fun of L.L. When he lost control of his bowels, for example, or vomited.

Hamber says the couple was "negative" in text messages and used "very dark humour."

"I’m deeply, deeply ashamed that I did that," Hamber says, adding she’s lost a lot of sleep since those messages came up in court. "I can’t believe I let myself do that. I’m disgusted with myself."

"It’s a disgusting way to talk about humans," she adds.

Given the strain at home, Hamber says, the couple lost touch with friends.

There was also a financial impact. Hamber has testified she opted not to return to work after taking a leave when the boys moved in because she needed to take care of them.

Between that and the property damage she has described, Hamber says, the couple often came up short at the end of the month.

Cooney worked early-morning shifts and earned around $35,000 annually, Hamber has testified. The couple also received about $24,000 per year from Halton CAS to care for the boys.

The Crown has suggested Cooney and Hamber viewed the children as a source of income. Hamber has testified she did not.

Hamber says L.L. Broke her arm during his tantrum in September 2019 and possibly tore her biceps and injured her rotator cuff. 

The court previously heard from Cooney that Hamber had fractured her arm. 

They have no medical records of the treatment they said she received at an urgent care clinic or pictures of her arm injury. 

Hamber says she wore a sling while she healed, not a cast. 

She says she experienced other injuries through actions of the boys, like a broken and sprained fingers, black eyes, scratches and bruises, but didn’t see a doctor. She also says she was bitten 25 to 30 times. 

"I didn’t feel like it was worth the time to go and seek medical attention,” she said. “A lot of time it came down to logistics — a lot of the time we had to choose running the home and safety of the boys."

The court has heard testimony and seen evidence of L.L. And J.L. Using baby bottles. 

Previously, therapist Terra Bovingdon testified she told the women that for children who act younger than they are in certain circumstances, engaging with them at that younger level in 10- to 15-minute increments, two or three times a day, could be helpful.

Today, Hamber says the couple used a baby bottle for L.L. To calm him in response to Bovingdon’s guidance. She says she would also use it to serve the boys drinks. Prior to that, she says, they would drink very quickly and hurt their stomachs. 

“We used it [baby bottle] on and off for about five years,” Hamber says, adding the boys liked it and it was working. She says that in their last six months together, they were giving J.L. Cups, but still giving L.L. Drinks in a baby bottle.

MacGregor shows Hamber a record of a communication between her and a Halton CAS worker.

Hamber says it shows her explaining the sleeping arrangements for L.L. And saying he wasn’t ready for a bed.

Hamber has testified L.L. And J.L. Would have outbursts during which they’d harm themselves and break objects, including in their bedrooms at night.

---

---